monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

(via for-hells-sake)

phantomdoodler:

nayx:

sir, all you have done throughout this entire court session is break dance in front of the judge.  where is your lawyer.  what are you even charged with

image

(via cheezetits)

cheesustheunicorn:

manicpixiedreamalien:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

I once pointed this out to some boys and they said I didn’t understand how vaginas worked.

Health class should teach you about these kind of things.